Home

The Rules of Microwave Living

It’s 1 a.m. You’ve been craving quality time with your bed and just started drifting off when the inevitable occurs.

The fire alarm goes off.

You mumble under your breath, grab a sweater, slip on the closest pair of shoes and join your fellow students outside the residence hall. You begin the game of guessing reasons for the alarm and speculate as to why some people are dressed the way they are. The fire fighters arrive and enter the building. In a matter of minutes, they exit shaking their heads. Imagine what they must be thinking after being called here twice in one week. 

It’s no emergency, just another microwave incident.

An apparent lack of knowledge about the microwave seems to cause most of these frustrating late night fire drills.

Here are four basic rules about what CANNOT go into the microwave.

  1. FOIL
    It might not cause your microwave to explode, but it can cause a fire, so stick to microwave-approved plastic wrap or paper towels.
  2. CLOTHING
    Underwear, gym shorts, socks: these caused multiple NDC fire alarms according to members of the residence life staff. Please, if there are no available dryers, just hang your clothes up in your room to dry.
  3. METAL
    Microwaves are more likely to malfunction when metal with sharp edges are left inside. So, leave your fork on the counter.
  4. DRY GOODS!
    Please, if you are making Easy Mac, include the water. There’s a reason it’s needed. Not adding H2O can result in a smoke-filled hallway, not to mention an unnecessary visit by the already swamped fire department.  

Late night fire drills are not fun. Especially during a frigid Cleveland winter. Next time you use the microwave, please keep these four simple rules in mind. Trust me, your fellow students will thank you for it.